我见了他。。

８月４号　－　我遇见了他。。　他变了很多。。　可是我还是像以前那样。。　这么差太多了？ 我的roomie刚好今天回家，所以她告诉我他会到我们家看他的朋友顺便跟着我的roomie一起回去。。　可惜当他来的时候，我既然没跟他说话，反而我跟他一起来的朋友聊聊天。。　一直到他走掉那时，我只是看着他的背后慢慢的离开。。我心里在想＂我选择这样子对他是不是因为我爱他，还是我要把他忘掉去哪。。？


８月１１号　－　我又见到他。　可是，不知道他有没有看到我因为他只是跟我的roomie讲几句话，就走掉了。。就在那一刻，我发现了，我只能够看着他离开我世界里。。没有一次是我求他留下的。。有时候，我真的想开口说＂你可不可以为我留下来？５分钟就好了？＂可是，我却说不出口。。　他一定会告诉我不想听的答案。。　haiz。。　也许是我笨，我单纯，我盲了，根本不会保护前面的机会，所以才失去它。。难道，我们一生一世就不能得到第二个机会吗？　

这缘分其实是很有趣的东西。。　它通常是在不知不觉中出现了。。　当它出现的时候，你可能不会珍惜它。。　当你期待它来的时候，它就一直都不出现了。。　

ForGet Statement..

"Do u ever think about me?"
"Do u ever cry urself to sleep?"
"In the middle of nite when u awake, will u call out my name..?"

forget him.. meanz forgetting his name n his face..
forget his kiss.. meanz forgetting his warm embrace..
forget the love u once knw.. n remember tat he has someone new..
forget him when they played ur song.. n remembered when u cried all nite long..
forget how close u 2 were.. n remembered tat he has chosen her..
forget tat u memorized his walk.. meanz forgetting the way he used to talk..
forget the thing he used to say.. n remembered tat he has gone far away..
forget his laugh.. forget his grin.. forget the dimples in his chin..
forget the way tat he used to hold u tight.. remembered tat he's with her tonite..
forget the time tat went so fast.. remembered the love tat moved it's past..
forget his memorable eyes.. n remember tat u're forgetting coz u loved him..
forget tat he said he'll never leave u..
n remember...

tat he's gone forever...

Fatt Chok..??

everyone has their own fatt chok (duno spell rite anot) time.. even i oso hv my fatt chok time once in a while.. when does it happens? it's when we feel despair at times while seeing others getting wat they wan.. sometimes, we would tink like this: "y them? y nt me? i deserve as much as them do but y does things goes wrong to me?"...

i do tink something like tat in several moments.. i would sometimes looked back into the past n evaluate my whole journey till nw.. i wonder: "did i make the rite choice thru out my whole life? hw many regretted stuff i hv ever committed? hw many times i hv realised tat? do i gt wat i wan in the end?".. complication: i cant even answer any of those questions..

my biggest mistake is tat.. i repeated alot of times adi so lazy to repeat it again.. i myself din knw y i kept stuck at tis part.. tis crucial part!! i kept tellin myself to leave it away when im in where i am nw, but.. things alwayz dun turn to wat i wan it to be.. when i died, i tink i'll bring all these mistakes together v me.. so tat i can correct my past mistakes towards my next life as a gd gd lesson.. (duno wat im crapping here)

Stars...

i heard tis song from the soundtrack of 200 pounds beauty..
felt very touched when the main actress cried while singing tis song at the end..
dedicate tis song to my loved one.. (wished u happy alwayz..)

"byul" by Youme..

param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi

translation:

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever..

'end'..

luv,
nicole..

Dead.. ForGone..

today is the day where im sufferin from a big depression.. i jz had the interview jz nw.. as the result.. SUX!!! oh wait.. really SUX!!! the more i talk, the more mistakes i get.. haiz.. the dj kept divert me into talkin sensitive issues.. until the "fake" china gal called n blame me for being prejudice to their foreigners.. aiyoyo.. ending up cum out with a failure face.. lolz..

i heard emily n molly's interview after tat.. at least they were better than me.. i can definitely predict tat they both will get the posts.. gambateh u guys~!! all the best!!

but anyway, i still wanna thank my fren to send msg thru ym.. thankz u guys for supporting me.. mayb i'll try again next time.. hehe.. jz wish to receive from the one tat i wanted to receive de.. but i dun think he's free to listen to the radio n send me any msg.. hahaha.. im fine with it anyway.. adi used to it.. wateva tat u wished for, u wont get it in the way u want.. haiz..

ok then.. time to go to bed.. with depression feeling.. lolz.. gdnite everyone..