Fatt Chok..??

everyone has their own fatt chok (duno spell rite anot) time.. even i oso hv my fatt chok time once in a while.. when does it happens? it's when we feel despair at times while seeing others getting wat they wan.. sometimes, we would tink like this: "y them? y nt me? i deserve as much as them do but y does things goes wrong to me?"...

i do tink something like tat in several moments.. i would sometimes looked back into the past n evaluate my whole journey till nw.. i wonder: "did i make the rite choice thru out my whole life? hw many regretted stuff i hv ever committed? hw many times i hv realised tat? do i gt wat i wan in the end?".. complication: i cant even answer any of those questions..

my biggest mistake is tat.. i repeated alot of times adi so lazy to repeat it again.. i myself din knw y i kept stuck at tis part.. tis crucial part!! i kept tellin myself to leave it away when im in where i am nw, but.. things alwayz dun turn to wat i wan it to be.. when i died, i tink i'll bring all these mistakes together v me.. so tat i can correct my past mistakes towards my next life as a gd gd lesson.. (duno wat im crapping here)

Stars...

i heard tis song from the soundtrack of 200 pounds beauty..
felt very touched when the main actress cried while singing tis song at the end..
dedicate tis song to my loved one.. (wished u happy alwayz..)

"byul" by Youme..

param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi

translation:

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever..

'end'..

luv,
nicole..

Dead.. ForGone..

today is the day where im sufferin from a big depression.. i jz had the interview jz nw.. as the result.. SUX!!! oh wait.. really SUX!!! the more i talk, the more mistakes i get.. haiz.. the dj kept divert me into talkin sensitive issues.. until the "fake" china gal called n blame me for being prejudice to their foreigners.. aiyoyo.. ending up cum out with a failure face.. lolz..

i heard emily n molly's interview after tat.. at least they were better than me.. i can definitely predict tat they both will get the posts.. gambateh u guys~!! all the best!!

but anyway, i still wanna thank my fren to send msg thru ym.. thankz u guys for supporting me.. mayb i'll try again next time.. hehe.. jz wish to receive from the one tat i wanted to receive de.. but i dun think he's free to listen to the radio n send me any msg.. hahaha.. im fine with it anyway.. adi used to it.. wateva tat u wished for, u wont get it in the way u want.. haiz..

ok then.. time to go to bed.. with depression feeling.. lolz.. gdnite everyone..

tHe MomenT of truTh..

tired tired.. jz came back from campus.. n nw is around 12 something midnight.. phew~ i jz had 3 so-called meetings in a row today deh~!! 1st, i went for the convofest meeting to discuss about our tasks.. then i rushed to attend swimming club agm.. finally, last pit stop was cls workshop where we hv to complete the stage design for today (thurs) singing competition.. (but i jz help abit la.. lolz)

oh ya.. tonite (thurs nite) is the day which determines whether i would get the spot as part of MMU dj's.. (i joined dj club btw) n guess wat? each of us hv to present a topic given for 5 minutes.. wat??! for 5 MINUTES?!?! n speak in mandarin.. wat de??! MANDARIN?!?! i can barely speak english.. n u wan me to speak MANDARIN??!!

haiz.. but adi less than 24 hours liao till my turn up next.. i'll try my best to... speak properly la.. lolz.. oh ya, to my frenz out there, plz support me ya.. hehe.. u guys can add radiommu as yahoo id in ym n send some encouraging msg to me ba~ (tq tq) my time is starting from 11.35pm (thursday oh!) dunno whether gt delay anot.. anyway, jz hope tat i wont screw it up during the interview ba.. haiz..

coNcerNing Alot oF StuFF..

today is a freaky day.. the day where all mixed up feelings happened.. where i felt happy, angry, sad, excited, bz n bla bla bla.. all poured out in a day! gosh~! 1st of all, i was angry coz quarreled with my mum.. then abit emotional when argued with roomie this afternoon.. (btw, sorry bout tat) i was excited for gettin to meet a MyFm dj in campus.. (took a pic with her tiam.. lolz)

i was happy during CF gathering coz gt to knw many frenz there.. i was sad coz i've tot of (u knw who) when i saw the person's face.. (izzit really 2 person who hv the same faces exist in tis world???) aaRRGGHH!! (if there's god in tis world, i would say tat he is playin a fool out of me nw..)

life is full of freakin toughful obstacles to go.. is either u can cope with it or nt.. whether is work, friendship, family or LOVE!!

roomie previously said she was a loser in luv n relationship, i tink im the world's largest loser in tis aspect.. sobs..