memories of 2006..

it's almost a day left to year 2007.. damn.. im getting older AGAIN!! time did passed by fast throughout the whole year of 2006.. gotta say goodbye to all my frenz in malacca.. however.. at least a new year has come.. a new day has come.. a new LIFE has come.. n i shall be moving to cyber for my degree programme.. >.<>

1st of all.. i started my year with a chinese new year celebration.. this time, i got to celebrate with all my overall family include my grandparents, uncles n aunts, cousins, n other relatives as well.. besides, i hv a slightly hope to enter MMU.. since i was kinda late for my application.. n i wasnt really interested through the courses there.. (mum forced me.. sigh) while i was in Australia, i received a phone call from my aunt informing tat MMU accepted me!! yippee~!! but leh.. i missed the orientation day.. coz i wasnt back from Aus yet..

so i came to MMU on the early of feb.. which i was kinda new to the environment here.. nt familiar with the place.. i came up to C-04-07, EP.. ya.. 4th floor.. coz other place was full.. n i dunwan to live with the indians n malays.. when i came here.. i 1st saw my mongolian roommate, odko.. n goodness.. she's dirty.. she throws things everywhere, but nt in the dustbin.. nite time, i met my other roommate, molly who apparently made a funny entrance n i was at the living room eating a piece of bread.. ya.. we r still laughing at it till nw.. it was my fortune in 2006, to hv her as my roommate.. someone who has bubbly, crazy n friendly personality.. hehe.. n i oso got to knw other wonderful housemates.. petleng, amy, kuen, ning, n huey lynn later on.. ya.. i oso glad to knw my mongolian housemates who moved back to their country later.. hehe..

i started my uni life on tues.. 1st sem.. hehe.. coz i was late.. hehe.. i got to knw alot of frenz from pe40, pe41, pe42 n pe 44.. i met vv, elaine, siraj, jon, jonathan, v sion, kaw ping, xuan hao, ray, mun loong, ck, chu, jeffrey, swee jiang, loo, cavid n more more frenzin ep like jia shan, jackie, yen, emily, yik min, allysa n more more.. sorry for those names tat i hv nt stated ya.. one most important thing tat happened in my life of 2006, is tat i started a love life with jackson.. who was oso my classmate btw.. an unforgetable time in my life.. we alwayz sit together during class time.. he cures my broken heart.. i was glad to be with him.. ya.. we took jap class together oso.. haha.. at tat time, i can tell myself tat " i love him so much".. "very very much".. sometimes i would make as i din care for him or something.. but truly from my heart.. i did care for him.. really care.. i cherish him alot..

the month of april.. a harsh moment of my life.. we were supposed to celebrate my bday together.. but.. i was having a big headache at the same time.. it was excruciating.. i cant even stand properly.. so i told him to cancel the plan.. then situation got intense.. i knew tat he was upset.. i did planned something to cheer him up.. but then.. when i heard some bad news about him.. i was angry.. over the edge for making my decision.. ya.. i was the one who came out with the idea of breaking up with him.. during tat moment, i dunno whether i did the rite thing or the opposite way.. i honestly dunno.. i cried the whole nite.. i even travelled to johor to clear up my mind.. it was a dreadful experience.. really..

2nd sem time.. i made as if i was okay everytime when i go to class n i come back home.. at 1st, i still able to face him.. even when EP campfire nite, i still made myself think tat i was okay with tat.. nothing bad with my decision.. but then.. i got to knw alot of frenz here.. daniel, his gang, sonia, maria, usha, n some IS students oso.. hehe.. at this time, i got to knw someone who's my senior.. his name is boonming.. we 1st met when i was hving my dinner n he came n asked for our attendance to women awareness week.. hehe.. since then, we alwayz chat on ym.. i later on found out tat he knew my fren siraj too.. so we all big gang usually would go out n have fun~~ especially mr siraj who alwayz asks us to hang out at pure bar.. aiseh.. but i did enjoy my moments there.. it drives me away from thinking bout him.. one time, they joked around about me together with boonming.. then, a joke has turned into reality.. i found myself liking him.. although he alwayz kidding about his degree year (beta, gamma, or delta).. hahaha.. lotz of complications happened tat time.. undescribdable..

towards the end of 2nd sem, the liking still stays as liking.. it was nt love.. so i oni treat him as fren so far.. so does him of coz.. 3rd sem, my frenz n i explored alot of places tat i hv never been b4 including hot spring n oso MUAR.. wonderful time.. i still having some doubt over jackson sometimes.. until.. i found an email in my inbox.. it's funny coz i din notice the email before.. it was from jackson.. his last email to me.. "this isnt a love letter since u dun love me anymore".. oh no.. i had done a big MISTAKE!! once again.. tears flowing uncontrolled.. sigh.. it was my worse moment.. realising my mistake.. 原来.. my decision was wrong all this while.. i was fully regreted.. but i cant turn back the time anymore.. n nw he has a gf adi.. n i hv to forget him.. i mz assume him as my fren.. n tat's it.. who to blame? myself.. sobs.. yea.. most of the blogs i written is all about him.. sigh.. i kept askin.. god, y is this happening to me??.. y??..

n nw it's adi dec.. i will miss all the things tat gonna be leave behind.. but i hv gain alot of things from friendship, knowledges n experiences.. i oni lost a thing.. tat is love.. i cant forgive myself after the incident.. anyway, thankz to my frenz who hv supported me throughout the process.. thankz to all my malacca frenz.. i'll miss u all alot.. i will never forget the moments in malacca..

goodbye 2006, n welcome to 2007.. a new life in cyber.. new housemates.. new frenz in new uni.. anyway, good luck to all my frenz for final examz~!!

The DraMaTic DaY~

8pm at nite jz nw, 5 groups of PE40 students supposed to present their drama in CLC building.. we were the 2nd group.. the preparation was kinda little n some of us cant memorise the words properly.. including me!! i was afraid tat i might lose my words n tremble.. sigh.. as we waited for our turn, we watched the 1st group performing.. my god, they were good! in acting of coz! the longer i waited, the nervous i got de.. p.s. i was supposed to act as Mrs. White btw.. a wicked wife de.. hahaha.. i hv to pretend tat i'll go crazy and die at the end..

oh ya.. his group was after mine.. so i get to watch him after i present.. hehe.. b4 i started to act, he gave me a word, "gambate".. n tat drives me more enthusiastically to make my drama successful.. thankz to him.. well, at last i had finished the drama.. i thought at 1st, we were kinda funny and it went fluently.. but leh.. after i had watched other groups, im not quite sure anymore.. coz the rest of the group were brilliant!! especially his!! n i think he did a wonderful job in his drama.. well done!! n to his frenz too~!! bravo everyone~!!

anyway.. i wanna thank to all my group members for this drama.. since it's my last co-operation with them in malacca.. although we had a conflict at 1st, but we had overcome it by today.. so, congrats to everyone~ u guys have work it out man~!! hope to meet u guys in the future~

aiya.. another complication came out during supper time.. me n my future housemates had a problem finding another housemate for the single room in cyberia.. it's still remains available.. i have to search the whole internet for a housemate.. including posting in the mmu forums and oso friendster.. tiring.. hopefully could find someone b4 the month of january de.. let's jz hope so.. phew~~

ConFusInG!!

it's almost 4 in the morning and im still awake.. in middle of arranging my schedule courses for next year.. kinda nervous though.. gotta wake up early in the morning jz to register courses.. hopefully i get the spot tat i wanted to.. coz the chances for getting better timetables is kinda low.. if im late, i gonna get the worse timetable.. sigh.. guess im taking 6 subjects for next year.. coz frenz told me tat if i bring some of the subjects to the front, i wont suffer tat much when im goin to epcilon level.. as they said.. it's TOUGH!! HARD!! MESSY!! LIMITED TIME!!

anyway.. speaking of limited time.. i had jz fighted with my so-called leader,S last afternoon about practicing our drama.. we havent even started a proper acting for the whole week.. everyone kept delaying the rehearsal time!! ok fine.. since S said he was facing with his flooded house problem, i can consider it rationally.. but when we supposed to practice today at 1pm, he was late for almost 2 hours!! reason?? he was bz doin the monkey's paw.. for 1 hour!! oh come on!! if u cant do it, jz inform me n i will get the monkey's paw done in 15 minutes time!! n he said he hv to stay for lunch time too.. =.=" i havent even have mine!!! obviously, we dun hv time for daytime practice.. so, i asked them if they can practice it during night time.. S n his fren kept giving excuses n suggested to practice the next day.. by tat time, it's adi time for drama for god sake!!! wat if we dun get enough of practice?? wat if we r nt ready enough for this?? wat happen if we messed up during drama?? n guess wat?? his answer was "it's ok, jz 10% marks gone nia.. no big deal"... i was like aaaarrRRGGHHH!!!! cant he think for someone else??!! he can lose his 4 flat point n still get 1st class ticket!! but wat about the rest??! take me for an example, i oni got C for my midterm exam n my essay wasnt tat satisfatory.. tat's y im trying to do my best to work this drama out properly.. but certain ppl could jz care less about this!!!

i think we r gonna mess up alot tomolo nite.. doom... oh ya.. i hv decided to talk back to "him".. if we couldnt be a couple anymore, y not become gd frenz? after being foolish for few weeks, i had finally realised the meaning of love is.. loving someone doesnt meanz tat u have to be with him.. loving someone meanz making him happy alwayz n cheerful.. although it hv to be him with another gal.. as long as he's happy.. im happy too.. eventhough i cant be with him.. at least i knew tat i was with this person b4 who had taught me alot of stuff tat i never knew.. i will alwayz remember him as he's alwayz remainz in my heart.. honestly.. i will wait 4 him.. if possible.. but rite nw.. FRENZ ALWAYZ..

Christmas Extravaganza~!!

oh wow.. jz came back from outside de.. tiredness.. surrounded my whole body man.. hehe.. few hours ago, my frenz n i were celebrating our christmas together at portuguese settlement (malacca).. was told tat there will be celebration every year.. we arrived there at about 7 something in the evening (of coz).. it was super CROWDED!! lotz of ppl walking along the unbelievable gorgeously road together with all the BEAUTY houses of the portuguese citizens.. it's a tradition for the portuguese ppl to decorate their houses as fancy as possible during christmas time.. n it was admirable.. we even took plenty of picz in front of their houses.. haha..

jz one annoying thing.. strangers kept on spraying "artificial snow" around me!! some even sprayed directly towards my face!! aaRRGGHHH!! the pain in my eyes was absolutely excruciating!! nvm.. it's christmas nite anyway.. anyone who went mad tonite shud be forgiven de.. as long as tat someone did nt go crazy the next day.. hahaha.. btw.. the countdown was fanstastic~ except tat alot of "snows" were flowing everywhere.. fortunately, i was hiding behind a protection.. so i wasnt the worse one de.. at the end, we went home happily.. although we were stuck under the traffic jam while we were on our way out from the settlement.. phew~

but.. i was a little upset tat time.. i cant share my christmas with my loved one.. i saw alot of couples there celebrating happily.. there was once when i saw a guy was protecting his gf from being sprayed by the "snow".. n his gf was touched for the things tat he did.. then next thing tat i saw is tat they both were kissing each other adi.. suddenly, a bolt striked through my mind.. if him n i were still together.. we could have celebrated this wonderful moment together.. have our romantic time together.. unfortunately.. my superstitious thinking will alwayz be a dream forever.. i would oni fool myself for this.. sigh.. wat to do.. i could oni wish to be his so-called memorable fren de.. god bless him..

anyway.. today is CHRISTMAS DAY~~!! n we shud be happy~!! HO HO HO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE~!! GOD BLESS U GUYS~!! JINGLE BELL ROCKS~!!

Again?..

again.. feeling so down again.. although i was kinda entertained with my fren who is singing multiple kinds of songs in my room nw.. feeling hillarious coz she love to sing songs everyday n keep repeating the song!! hahaha.. anyway.. i jz found out tat his problem has been solved.. meanz the probz between him n her have been overcomed.. i think.. im happy tat they hv cleared their probz.. but at the same time.. my heart went sourish (bad language, i knw).. i still couldnt overcome my feeling towards him.. i try to.. i really try to control it.. but.. i dunno y.. everytime i glance a little at him, i blushed! so easily!!

if i can go back into the past, i would chose to go back to my 1st semester in mmu where i 1st knew him.. we used to talk last time.. but nw.. not even a word exists between us.. i oni talk to his frenz! i dunno y.. izzit because i was too shy to start a conversation with him? no idea.. i hv to find an excuse to chat with him.. suddenly a question pop up to my mind.. wat am i to him?.. nw tat he has belong to someone else, it's unfair for me to interupt their life isnt it.. no! i dunwan to be a bitch!! i really wanted them to be together sincerely.. since i cant have him adi.. i really do.. wat hurt the most? is when u realised how truly u were in love with someone.. if i love him, i shud wish a plenty happiness to them.. yes.. i shud..

no matter how much he used to love me, i hv got to accept tat it's adi in the past.. PAST TIME ALREADY!! (wateva im saying nw is easy of coz, but to make it to an action is hard!) seriously i hate myself nw.. i dunno who i am.. wat am i actually.. my personality has been lost lately.. frenz told me tat i've changed alot.. well, i dunno whether they meant it from the physically or mentally de.. it's so confusing recently.. everything has turned into jigsaw puzzle.. including my mind i guess.. (crapping alot of rubbish nw) everyone was like telling me tat im supposed to thank him for entering into my life coz he had taught me alot of things.. in tat case.. im found guilty.. really guilty.. i did hurt his feelings in the past rite.. sigh.. it's all coming back to me nw.. n i hv lost the day i let him go.. sobs..