LoVe.. FrusTraTing...

life is getting more n more meaningless to me... i felt myself like a dead person... i wake up every morning, walk alone for classes, come alone again from classes, n end up with loneliness.. no one knows how i feel through this whole process.. this feeling really hurts me so much... like an arrow strikes till my whole heart came crashing down.. now, i could really understand how does a loner feels... when u're happy, who's there to share with u?... when u're sad, who's there to cheer u up?... when u really need someone to be with, who's there to lend u a shoulder?.. other than frenz, when u really wanna share ur happiness with someone, who's there to enjoy with?..

i wonder... do ppl change completely after a certain period?... someone who used to love u, hv totally forgotten about u... u are nothing for tat person rite nw... is life alwayz turn out to be like tat everytime?... or izzit a big challenge for me?.. do i hv to go through this in order to get my life back?... even if i can go through this time, i would probably go crazy the next time.. i try to forget this, but i cant... i cant seem to get it erase off from my memory.. it's the hardest thing tat i can do... sees tat person everyday really tears my heart into pieces.. reminds me in the past... financial problem of coz disallowed me to get transfer to other college.. wat can i do?.. mind almost explode sooner or later..

if only i hv the guts to communicate.. to tell.. to confess.. to ask.. ..... or else, i wouldnt be over here thinking silly things.. but the fact is tat.. i dun.. i dun hv enough guts.. i cant do it.. im too coward to do it.. it's easier to be said than to be done.. i will jz keep it to myself.. or mayb forever.. i blame myself for being stubborn... if i could, i really wanna love him forever... n wouldnt change my mind on other guys... for he's the one who used to care for me when no one does... n tries to make me happy no matter wat... i really din hope for anything.. jz hope tat time could cure everything... gomene.. aishiteru..