Thursday, December 14, 2006

In The MatTer Of...

it's already 3 something in the morning.. everyone in the house has gone to bed.. except me.. im still wide awake in front of my comp.. oh ya.. coz i oni have one class later.. n tat's from 5 to 6 pm.. hehe.. so i can stay up the whole nite chatting n playing games~ anyway, jz nw i had my supper at mamak there.. n when i came back here.. my heart beats rapidly.. it's like i had jz done exercising.. but the fact is tat.. i didnt!! i hv no idea y.. until nw, it still beats fastly.. probably coz i had too much 'teh ais' jz nw..

anyway.. i jz got to knw a nigeria gal during physics today.. she kinda nice.. although i hv forgotten her name adi.. (it's a complicated name duh).. she's kinda sociable too.. tat's really in contrast with my thinking.. coz in my opinion.. black gals prefer to mix with their own type than to mix with us (local).. my academic advisor oso told me once tat international students like to socialise with us but they are shy of coz.. (same case as the local too) oh well.. i guess she has changed my thoughts de.. hehe.. solute her though.. cool~~

oh ya.. last nite.. my 1st ex, KV called me.. i looked at my phone n it stated an incoming call from him.. i was kinda shocked to be heard from him.. n so.. we were doin some chatz on the phone, n suddenly he asked me to accept him back.. n said tat he needed me.. i was in dead silence at 1st.. at tat time.. i had realised.. this was the same thing i did to him.. (not KV le).. love cant be forced between 2 ppl.. it would hurt both rather than one.. at last, i had switch off myself from the halucinating world.. back to reality world.. i finally answered back a "no" to KV.. i expected tat he would jz hang up the phone n gone.. oni tat he said the word 'thank u' this time.. i felt relieved this time.. i found myself able to forgive KV at last..

rite nw.. i shud learn hw to let him (not KV again) go.. no matter hw hard it is.. i have to do it.. as we both cant be together anymore.. i will.. yes.. i will learn to let him go.. mayb by the time when i hv no feelings towards him.. we both can be frenz again.. as happy as before.. oni time determines everything.. whether it's today, tomolo, the day after, a year later or even 10 years later.. it depends.. tsk tsk.. we will see.. = )

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