today.. i opened his blog.. he had updated his blog ic.. nice tone of colour.. n then i thought to myself.. oh no! tat meanz he added a new post today!! my heart doesnt beat the way tat it normally does.. so i read through his post while catching my breath.. indeed.. it was how i hv expected.. he did have a girlfriend already.. n i think i knw who tat gal was.. tears were flowing.. heart was crushed by a big fire rock.. body felt like numb already.. energy went from 50 percent to 0.9 percent.. silence.. it hurts bloody much when i found out the truth.. gosh! i wished i hv never c this at all!! but they had their problem oso.. the gal doesnt respond to him..
at this time.. i felt myself so selfish n irresponsible.. y izzit all hv to be like this?? other ppl hv their feelings too!! jz because he doesnt like me, i called this hurting?? devastating??!! i hv tat gal to be respect oso!! it's nt jz all about u, nicole!!! (gosh.. i think im scolding myself de).. anyway.. it is reasonable for him to forget me.. i dun deserve for him to remember me.. i will be leaving malacca anyway.. i this time hope tat they both can settle their problems.. n hopefully they both can be together back.. sobs.. it's better to sacrifice one than two..
feeling so lonely nw.. if a guy cum n comfort me.. i would really go n hug him straightaway.. sounds desperate huh.. but tat's how im feeling nw.. i really need someone to cure my heart nw.. oh god.. i hv no idea whether i still hv the will to live anymore.. sobs..
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